Ham-Potato-Cheese Casserole and Christmas review

So, Christmas dinner was ultimately as close to a disaster as I think I've ever had cooking (and that includes the time I scorched a beurre blanc sauce, the time I made approximately 8 gallons of beurre blanc for a meal for 4 people, the time I set a wok on fire [leading to the title of this blog], the time I caught a burner on fire while trying to a boil a pot of potatoes...). First off, I made two tins of "fudge". I say "fudge" in quotes because it wasn't real soft-ball stage fudge, it was a workaround that should taste about the same. I managed to spill incredibly sticky boiling sugar-evaporated milk mix all over the stovetop, sink, cabinets, and floor (it said use a 4-qt pot, I said "eh a 3-qt pot should be okay", YEAH RIGHT never underestimate the expansion properties of a pot of boiling sugar liquid). I swiffered until it didn't feel like it was sticking anymore, but 3 hours later I was still sticking/slipping everywhere. Ugh.

Then ham. Had to use an insanely big blue pot we took from Alex's parents' house a while back, because my standard "big pot" was approximately the same size as the ham. Put it in the cooking liquid, put it on stove, SMOKE EVERYWHERE from scorching sugar all over burner and burner area. Went "AHHH ALEX HELP" and he came out and went "wtf do you want me to do" and I said "I don't knoooow" so he made a frustrated noise and opened the patio door.

Ham cooked for 5 hours, during which time we dealt with Chestnuts of Doom. Then Alex got a splitting headache just in time for the ham to be taken out of the pot and covered with glaze, which was NOT a one-person job because the ham was 11 lbs and prone to falling apart or off the bone at this point (yeah. Note to self: if the recipe calls for a 4-5 lb boneless ham, and you can't find one, PICK A DIFFERENT RECIPE). So he came out, grumbling and being cranky, and we lifted the ham out of the pot onto a cutting board onto the counter, which dripped ham juices everywhere, and then he went to bed. I did not know this until I had finished cooking everything, made a plate, and went to take it to him. So that ruined my evening. Did some washing up, ate a plate (brussels sprouts were a tad underdone, and chestnuts were too crunchy , probably due to me buying fresh. Note to self: NEVER EVER BUY FRESH CHESTNUTS AGAIN EVER EVER), and sulked.

So tonight, since I have a tasty-but-pain-in-the-ass ham sitting in the fridge, I'm making ham-potato casserole, layered with a standard cream sauce (butter, flour, milk, onion, s&p) and with cheddar sprinkled on top. And garlic bread, which was bought from Hyvee and just needs to be heated up. Both should be pretty fail-proof as far as flavor, especially since I did wait for the cream sauce to thicken and boil before adding to the casserole. So, it should be a nice relief.

Shithead Alex (my coworker, not my husband) says he is bringing a home-cooked ham to the work potluck this Friday. He also listed polo shirts, in complete seriousness, as something his work Secret Santa should get him. I think he fails to understand the intricate subtleties dividing work Christmas and family Christmas. I made a home-cooked ham for Husband Alex, because I wanted to do a Christmas dinner and we're not going to be here on the day of, but I wouldn't dare go to all that effort for work. I'm making an apple crisp in a 13x9 dish, nothing gourmet or particularly complex about it, and that's good enough for me. Last time we had a work potluck, it was my shift lead's baby shower (funny story: she went into labor that morning, a month premature, so she wasn't even there), and he had been insisting he was going to make stuffed/rolled chicken breasts, but at the last minute decided it was too much work (ya think?) and made two huge pans of lasagna instead, most of which didn't get eaten because when 25 people are bringing food, you DON'T need to bring an entree like that, or at least not that much of it. It was supposed to be Mexican/Southwest themed, too, I thought I was pushing it with chili but LASAGNA? Plain old beef-ricotta-tomato-pasta lasagna? Not even close. (For the record, my chili was delicious as it always is, and plenty of it got eaten.)

He says his dad is a chef (he also says his dad is a deadbeat but that's another story) so I can only assume he thinks he inherited magical gourmet powers. And maybe he did, I have never actually eaten anything he's made so who knows. (His lasagna looked dry and grayish.) But he definitely does NOT have any powers of common sense when it comes to work stuff and seems to have this need to compete/outdo everyone. Which is funny, because nobody is trying to compete with him, and it mostly just makes him look stupid at best and like a complete ass at worst.